The Good, The Bad, The Army


I have never been more excited to wake up at 4am on a Friday in my entire life. I have never been more excited to see someones face, even though I have been promised that face will have a months worth of moustache growth in honour of Movember. I have never been more excited to pick my man up from work at 5pm on a Friday afternoon. I have never been more excited to spend an entire weekend, just me and James.

It’s funny, everything I just mentioned (minus the waking up at 4am on a Friday part) I feel are pretty normal, every day experiences for most people. I guess I am both lucky and unlucky. Lucky because I have come to treasure these little things that I used to take for granted & unlucky because life has changed in a way where I don’t get to experience those treasured little things every day.

The past month has been the hardest for me so far. I don’t know why because I have had more contact with James in the past month than I did in the first four put together.

I guess maybe it’s because it is actually real. This is actually happening. He is officially living in Christchurch and has begun his new career. I’ve known this was going to become reality since this time last year but in the past four weeks it has really sunk in.

I guess maybe it’s because every time I hear his voice my stomach both flutters with excitement that I get to hear about his day but it also sinks a little in disappointment, knowing the next time i’m going to hear this voice through something other than an iphone speaker is so far away.

I guess maybe it’s because hes living our new life, for the moment, without me.

The past month has been the hardest for me so far but I am so lucky to be going through this with such an amazing person who is constantly reasuring me everything is going to be great if we’re patient. Unfortunately for James, i’ve never excelled in patience. Tears, negativity, jealousy and outbursts of frustration have been on the cards more often than not yet James insists on staying on the phone until he knows i’m smiling, each and every time.

Don’t get me wrong, along with all of the negatives I am still so excited for what is coming, it’s just the wait that is not ideal. In the last 5 months i’ve spent in total 3.5 days with James. I can’t imagine that being ideal for any couple really. I think i’ve done pretty well but i’m definetly ready for things to go back to normal. Time can not go fast enough over the next few months, apart from this weekend. This weekend I want to go in super slow-mo. We don’t really have anything planned but for once, that is okay. I am so excited to just spend much needed time with James with nowhere to go and nowhere to be.

I am going to be taking a shit tonne of pictures and hopefully a bit of video which I will be sharing with you all next week.

Give the ones you love an extra long cuddle tonight, just because you can.

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